Therapy in the form of writing: Mia describes her relationship with Leo, a man with narcissistic personality traits.
Five (5) years later, Mia remembers her relationship with Leo. In this article, she describes the early stages of their relationship. Time flies, but some days seemed very long.
Five (5) years ago, I received a first message from Leo. It was through Facebook Messenger. He wrote: “hello” and “how are you”. I answered “I’m fine” and then he wrote again: “how are you”. I did not have a good first impression of him and his Facebook profile. Yet, he still continued sending me similar messages: “hello” and “how are you?” and I continued to answer “I’m fine“.
During that time, I was seeing a therapist and was living my single life. A single life of someone who no longer wanted to be single: I wanted to be in a relationship. My therapist encouraged me to take a chance: “Mia, if you want to be in a relationship, tell those guys you’re dating. If they don’t want to, well, move on to the next one.’’
I mustered up my courage and said: “I would like to be in a relationship with you.” Result: negative. “Would you like our relationship to become more serious?” Result: negative. That’s disappointing…
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Hello, how are you?
In my head: ‘’Oh no, not him again…’’
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Leo, if you want to meet me, make plans and invite me somewhere, stop just writing “hello”.
And so he did.
The first time we met was in a restaurant during my lunch break. Being a single mother, my schedule was quite limited. He sat on the chair without taking off his backpack and he didn’t order anything. He told me his “story”, that is to say his life and his former relationships. The lunch ended quite quickly and we went back to our lives. He seemed shy, not very sure of himself. His dress style was quite unusual. I was not impressed.
We didn’t speak for a few days. About a week later, he wrote to me asking for help. He had received a letter and he did not understand the meaning. I HAD to help him: “Please Mia, it’s important, I need you”. He needs me, um…
I met him again in a café on my lunch break, I read his papers and explained to him what was going on. He offered me lunch, he told me about the situation with the letter. During this second meeting, I found him cute. I felt proud that I was able to help him. I felt good.
Having eliminated the other men from my single life, Leo became my go to, my solution to my single life: he ALWAYS said yes. Shows, outings to the park, shopping, Léo was always up for it. He met my son Lex who was then six years old. My son loved Leo! Leo was so cool. He played soccer with him, he let him watch videos on his phone and he even made videos with him. Leo seduced my son and he seduced me too.
The messages he was sending me had changed. They were now scattered with phrases like “Honey”’, “Thinking of you”, heart emojis, GIFs with hearts, GIFs with flowers… you know the kind.
I wanted a boyfriend and he wanted to be my boyfriend. He would say to me: “I want to be serious with you”, “I am a simple man”, “We will help each other”. He literally love bombed me. He was demonstrative in his messages and also in person when we went out.
Still, I was reluctant. His situation was complicated, he was an undocumented person. According to Larousse, the French dictionary, it is “a foreigner who does not have the documents which allow them to justify their identity and the regularity of their situation [in France]”. We don’t live in France, but it’s the same principle. I didn’t want to get into this tricky situation.
He persevered and he continued to bombard me. He introduced me to his friends and invited me to events he attended. I had developed feelings for him.
That was it, I was in love.
To be continued…
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